Hange's Assistants
by PearlHarmony
Summary: Phoenix and Pearl are Hange's new lab assistants. Chaos ensues. Will continue as it is written! Totally goes off the original plot of the show, and has new, random characters!


**Hey! Pearl Harmony is back after forever! So, this time it is a piece that my friend wrote the dialogue for, and all my friends and I came up with the concept. Lots of random new characters, so it probably will go off the actual story line of _Attack On Titan,_ but it's , we can write like this if we want! The new characters (Most of them anyway) are inspired by my friends! Dree is inspired by Dree Dree, Neko is inspired by Gig, Mikaera is inspired by Lady Fairrose, Marie by Empress Fairrose, Phoenix by Phoenix Zoiix (The writer of this piece) and Pearl is inspired by myself! Hope you enjoy! (will be updating this periodically, as we write new pages.)**

 **So, Basically, Pearl and Phoenix are Hange's new lab assistants. Chaos ensues. (format of a play)**

* * *

Hange: Pearl, Phoenix, my titan helpers. Can you tell me about Neito's hypothesis?

Pearl: We can, but I'd rather not talk about him, so sis, take it away!

Phoenix: I'm sorry to say Hange-sama, but it failed to break through the protective layer. I say we need some sort of bacteria. An acidic substance was a charitable idea, but maybe bacteria could break through.

Hange: Yes! What an excellent idea! Pearl, if you would please bring this idea to Neito, Nairu, and Kiara. See what they think about it.

Pearl: Yes, of course, Hange-sama!

*Pearl scurries off. We follow her*

Pearl: My sister came up with an excellent pitch, bacteria! They, maybe with the right amount of power and breeding, may be able to break the prisoner out of her shell.

Neito: Huh, I never thought about it that way. You said a "new" pitch, right? My hypothesis failed?

Kiara: I think that's what she meant...

Nairu: There's no point in fighting over it. Hange-sama would get very disappointed if she saw us quarreling in such a manner. You two, behave yourselves.

Pearl: You have a point Nairu, but what's your opinion on the possibility of success? Do you think it'll work this time?

Nairu: I don't know, but I have a good feeling.

*Nairu smiles. The scene now adjusts to Hange, who is always doing the craziest things in the lab.*

Hange: Bring 'em in, now.

Dree: Hange-sama?! What are you doing?!

Hange: They're so cute, aren't they? I want to be able to observe them closely... I want to give it a meaningful chat before the experimentation and vigorous pain it will be going through. Tie one down! We need it's tooth!

Dree: Hange-sama! Please step away! They are incredibly dangerous! (not to mention they'll eat you!)

Hange: For possible results?! No way! Look, one coughed! Do they get sick?! Do they have allergies?! SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Dree: Hange-sama, I came here to tell you I've decoded the ancient inscriptions.

Hange: Excellent! Excellent! I'll look after we get these titans experimented on.

*Hange grins mischievously, causing everyone to worry... While we move on to Phoenix*

Phoenix: Thanks a million, Neko. I need to process this info in the DNA.

Neko: No prob. Should be working fine, now. So I hear you came up with a new pitch?

Phoenix: Yeah, anything to get rid of these beasts. I'm simultaneously trying to find out how to extract my titan DNA out of my system. I'm not sure exactly how to test it, I might need to mutate an animal and somehow take a part of its DNA... Though I haven't discovered how to do it yet...

Neko: Don't look at me! I love my ears!

Phoenix: No, that's not why. If you don't mind me asking, was your father a cat?

Neko: I have no idea who my father was, and clearly, i don't care. All I know about is that my father left me and my mother.

Phoenix: I'm so sorry, I didn't know!

Neko: No, no, no. I needed that. Thank you Phoenix.

Phoenix: I really can't thank you enough, but I really need to test the DNA. I also do not want to get Hange-sama mad when she has access to the titan garage...

Neko: I forgot about that! You better get moving! Bye!

*Neko runs off leaving Phoenix alone in her work space. The scene now drifts to Pearl and Neito.*

Pearl: No, you beast!

Neito: To be fair, you're the beast.

Pearl: Yeah, because saying that will totally change my mind.

Neito: Why not?!

Pearl: Because you're you, and I'm me. I also hate you, so, no!

Neito: Why can't it work out?

Pearl: Because I hate you. End of story. No happy ending for Neito. Now scram!

*When she notices Neito hasn't moved, Pearl walks away, but Neito follows her.*

Pearl: Stop following me.

Neito: What if I told you I can remove your titan powers?

*Pearl's body goes numb. The scene now shifts to Hange again.*

Levi: Stop it, pig! You can't just tie titans down, idiot!

Hange: Just watch me. Plus, I don't think that you're the titan specialist and manager!

Levi: Tch.

Pearl: Hange-sama, did you need- Oh! I'm sorry for interrupting...

Hange: Perfect timing! Tell this brute to leave.

Pearl: Brute?

Levi: I was leaving anyway.

*A pissed Levi walks out of the lab*

Hange: He's go to learn not everything's gonna go his way!

Pearl: Not to be disrespectful, Hange-sama, but I think he was just making sure you don't hurt yourself.

Hange: Hurt myself? Oh! Get Kiedu, just in case I do.

Pearl: (She doesn't get it.) Alright, Hange-sama.

*The scene shifts to follow Pearl as she goes to find Kiedu.*

Pearl: Hi Kiedu!

Kiedu: Hi Pearl! Can I tell you something that happened to me? Captain Levi came in my room by accident. He's so gorgeous, Isn't he? I cant believe it happened!

Pearl: *Slightly irritated* Can we just go? Hange-sama needs you in case she gets hurt.

Kiedu: Okay, I'll just need to get my supplies. I remember, one time I forgot my stethoscope and the time I forgot it what the time I needed it~

Pearl: (How is she a nurse? She has no brains!) I know, you've told me that story like, 10 times.

Kiedu: Oh! *Laughs* silly me! I guess that happens often, like this one time-

Pearl: You told me this story, too! Let's just get to Hange-sama, OK?

Kiedu: Okay, I just need to change. Like this one time, I wasn't wearing the correct attire-

Pearl: I know, just get changed!

Kiedu: You're acting just like someone I used to know~

Pearl: No stories! Just GET CHANGED!

* * *

 **Ok, that totally went off the original plot of _Attack On Titan_! But whatever! What did you think? More to come! As it gets written, I'll type it up! Comment any feedback you have so, as always, we can improve! BYYYYEEEE!**


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